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What to wear?

May 02, 2012 | Lieutenant Colonel Kendall Mower

I may reveal more about myself in this post then people want to know, but here goes.  One of the reasons I love the Army is because it takes the guess work out of what to wear.  Don't get me wrong, when required I can look presentable in civilian clothes.  I understand what is fashionable to a degree (socks and sandals are bad)....I'm just lazy.

I saw a survey from the bureau of Labor Statistics showing the past  several years, and I was shocked at what was paid for clothes.  Monday through Friday I get up and the toughest decision I am faced with is - do I wear white socks, tan socks, or green socks with my ACUs?  All other aspects of my attire are visible, and are set by the Army or working conditions (scrubs worn in the clinic).  My current job has thrown a little hiccup into the ease of my life - on Fridays we wear the ASUs. 

Much to the chagrin of my wife, my closet is still full of shirts and slacks I had purchased over a decade ago for dental school.  That was the last time I had to really think about what to wear.  I think I have a good portion of my wardrobe that is older than my kids.  In an effort to help me (subtle hints), my wife will buy me a new shirt for my birthday, or pants at Christmas. 

However it still comes down to the fact that the only day I really have to think about what to wear is Saturdays, and on those days I'm doing yard work or running errands.  If I wanted to go back to an 80's retro look, it would be seen by very few people :)

Tongue in cheek - If I were running marketing for the Army I think I might capitalize on that theme.  I would target those who are tired with keeping up with fashion trends.  The commercial I would pitch would have a ring of an infomercial.  It would have someone standing in front of their closet trying to figure out what to wear or in front of their dresser with clothes pulled out and laying everywhere as they search for what to wear.  You could then have the announcer ask the question, "Tired of trying to figure out what to wear to work each day?"  The person would then respond by nodding.  The announcer would then say, "Join the Army and we can take all the guess work out of deciding what to wear.  You can cut your costs on clothes and have a steady pay check.".  The person would then be nodding in agreement.  The announcer would then say, "As an added bonus we can even help you with your hair so you don't have to worry about what to do with it either."  The screen would then show a guy coming in with long hair, and exiting with a buzz cut.  A female could have wild, frizzy hair, and the next seen it is pulled up in a bun.  The catch phrase would be, "Join the Army.  We'll take the guess work out of what to wear to work."


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